Shock's rant
by WhirlOfDestruction
Summary: The witch of Oogie's boys speaks her mind- or rather, shouts it. Personally I don't think I can write as Shock very well, but *meh*
1. Chapter 1

Shock's rant

Finally laddies and lasses, the last member of the trio (or second, depending on how you view things) has finally lodged herself in my brain and begun typing at random. I kinda put off writing this as Shock is my least favourite member of Oogie's boys (she DARES strangle Lock) and I sort of find it hard writing her. Oh well…I had to complete this sometime soon…

Ahhh! You people have no brains! So, here I am minding my own business, when suddenly Barrel and Lock come bursting in with Jack and Sally's computer (Eww. They moved in together. Makes me want to throw up) and there they are, grinning like the maniacs they are, saying 'Shock, Shock, check this out!" and then they sit there laughing on the floor whilst I browse through the most putrid selection of Lock and Shock fan fictions. HELLO? WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE? Oogie was demented enough, but seriously? I pulled a disgusted face, and Lock reassures me that what his reaction too. Except his involved actual puke. Then I hit him. Then he kicked me. And then we got into a fight for about ten minutes, and Barrel was throwing punches at me because apparently 'I started it'. And I read what Lock and Barrel put too. I can't believe Barrel would be that mushy! And I can't believe Lock would say all those insulting things about me! Actually…umm, yeah I can…cue more fighting. Those guys are so annoying. They never leave me alone. I suppose that's where all you twits got your ideas for the fan fictions in the first place.

I don't know why Oogie bothers keeping the other two around. I wouldn't want to get rid of them, and let's face it, they wouldn't survive without me. I think I'm the favourite of Oogie's boys (even though I'm a girl thank you very much. Whoever named us is stupid) Because Oogie obviously likes me more. I'm the cunning one of the trio, so it would be natural for Oogie to prize me above the 't get me wrong there, I do like the others, despite how grouchy you people think I am, but I hate the fact the other two are so stupid. What? They are. Lock's so stupid he couldn't find his way out of a paper bag if it was open at both ends, and Barrel's so dumb when we locked him in the toilet, he peed himself!

I kinda like Oogie in a way. He is very frightening (but then, who isn't in Halloween town? Oh yeah. Everyone else.) But he is a fun master. He lets us kidnap people for god's sake! Who else would let us do that? He also makes excellent snake and spider stew. I love his snake and spider stew. It is the best thing ever. The snake is sleek yet chewy, and the spiders are hairy yet delicious. And I don't know what else goes into it. Probably the kind of lava that rests in Oogie's pit.

Jack? Oh, I'd wish he'd fallen into it. But his legs probably wouldn't fit in. We'd have to tie him up (now _there's_ an idea) Why don't I like him? He doesn't like us. He only wanted us to help with the Christmas preparations because he thought he should give us one last chance. Sucker. Trusting us is like playing tag with a gun- it starts off as a game, but somebody usually dies. If maybe Jack gave more EFFORT to us, we'd be NICER. But he doesn't, so we don't.


	2. rant 2

**Shock's rant, part 2**

**Now, thanks to Ghostwriter9000 suggesting it, I have decided to add another chapter to Shock's happy little tantrum. Obviously my skills of writing as shock are not as abysmal as I first suspected. So, without further-**

-Alright alright! You talk for AGES you idiot! I can't believe you idiots on fanfiction dare publish things like this!

**That was just the disclaimer. Which I still haven't done. **

You're SO slow! Get on with it!

****

Finally! Now, where was I? Oh yeah, what's WRONG with the world. Many, many things that could easily be fixed if you got Jack off the throne. I remember, once Oogie scared someone TO DEATH. And that's a fact. We were trick-or-treating one night, when we heard this SCREAM! So we ran, to see if they had any candy, and we found a dead body of a man (could've fooled me, the scream was so high-pitched) and Oogie was standing there, in his 'roaring' pose. It took him a bit to discover us there, because we were giggling and it gave us away.

Why _heellllooo_ henchmen!

_Hello Mr. Oogie_ we chorused.

And then we got the giggles again. I mean, seriously? Oogie had FRIGHTENED a grown man to DEATH! How cool was that? Very cool, that's how. And Lock was looking at the body longingly, because he knows he could never do that himself. Barrel looked quite scared of the body. Of course, we all scarpered soon after, as Jack gets mean when we pull stunts like that. The rest of Halloween couldn't do that. The only thing they could frighten is a rubber duck. Well, saying that, somehow they do get scared of them, so technically, mortals are all Rubber ducks.


End file.
